Stories written by Ed Thompson

Curse of the Babylonians — Math homework with word problems

Without fully realizing our children would one day ask me to help them with their math homework, my wife and I started a family. For about eight years, everything was going great. We had three beautiful, healthy kids who showed signs of intelligence and not one of them asked me anything about fractions or if […]

Thanksgiving reminds us to be grateful for our blessings

Many years ago, I noticed a man living on the streets near my office. I never saw him panhandling, although I assume he probably did. Each time I saw him, he was sitting alone in the doorway of an old building as if far away in thought. I couldn’t help but wonder, “How did he […]

Monkeys in my Coconut Tree

There are monkeys in my coconut tree. No, really, little Capuchin monkeys — the “organgrinder” kind. We assume they escaped after one of our hurricanes and hiked several miles before finding the county-protected wooded area behind our house. We’re just glad it’s monkeys and not rhinos. There are three of them. We’ve watched as they […]

‘Expectations fully achieved’

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right,” so stated the famous American industrialist Henry Ford. Of course, he also thought the Edsel was a good idea, so he wasn’t right about everything. I’ve been thinking much about expectations these days. My youngest son, you see, is a student-athlete at the […]

God’s 10 rules to live by

I remember as if it were yesterday. It was a hot summer day and as usual, I was shirtless and shoeless. My little five-year-old feet carried me into our small storage room where I was determined to find out why my Dad had warned me; “Never stick anything into a wall socket.” I had a […]

‘Male-icures’ may not be so bad after all

Until this past weekend, I had never really questioned my manliness. I am a happily married, relatively athletic, ESPN addicted male who donated two knees to his college football team and have watched almost all of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movies no matter how absurd. Plus, I drive a pick-up truck. If that doesn’t scream “all male,” […]

Miralax cocktails bring on the ‘lost polyp of gold’

Slightly after turning 50, my doctor informed me it was time for me to have a colonoscopy. He also told me I should lose 30 pounds. Obviously, I need a new doctor. I was thinking about his recommendations over lunch while sipping on a chocolate milkshake after eating a double bacon cheeseburger. I have spent […]

Coupon Daze!

My wife and “Groupon” have become good friends. And now, with places like Amazon and Living Social vying for her online coupon attention, we are happily buying $30 worth of food for $15 at various restaurants. And while I’ve never been one to “clip coupons,” I am rather fond of eating. I’m happy to say […]

Turning 50 brings jokes, lifestyle changes

I just turned 50; half a century. It seems like family and friends have been eagerly waiting with all the over-the-hill jokes. Things like: If I call you at 9 p.m., will I wake you? Or, you’d better start eating more preservatives and did you know Burger King when he was just a prince? Yea, […]

Surviving the end of high school athletics


When it comes to recalling my athletic exploits, the axiom is true: “The older I get, the better I used to be.” The truth is, however, most of my athletic memories involve hospital rooms, casts, crutches and extra strength Tylenol. I had a heart for football, but knees for X-box. My wife, Jenn, never actually […]

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